The End

And just like that it’s over. I leave with a heavy heart, not sure when I will come back and realizing that I have only just started experiencing India. When I decided to come here, I had so many ideas in mind, of how it would be, and what I would do. But, that all went out the window as soon as I arrived.

Last year, around this time, I was in India telling everyone that my plans after that trip were to go on an international internship. A cousin suggested that I come to India. I immediately said no, knowing that it would be very difficult for me, and at that point it wasn’t even an option. I never felt like I belonged in India, even if I looked like everyone, I never understood their way of life and they definitely never understood me. Now 8 months later, and I am worried about the reverse culture shock. I go back to Canada with a new understanding of how my parents were raised and why they are the way they are. I also hope that I have shown some of my Indian family members that we aren’t so different after all. I now truly appreciate being a Canadian Indian, the yearly trips to India as a child instead of going to the cottage or skiing, waking up early on Saturday mornings to go to Hindi School instead of watching cartoons, and having 2 sets of friends - Indian friends and non-Indian friends. I now get offended by the term ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) because people don’t know what that truly means. It means growing up with 2 cultures, constantly being split between the two, often unsure of where we belong. It means getting weird looks when you call yourself ‘Canadian’ and having to explain that you were born in Canada but your parents weren’t.

I am now thankful to have had an upbringing where I was exposed to a new culture and so happy that I decided to go on this journey of discovery. I am happy that my non-Indian friends love things about India, that I have my parents as a link to this crazy place called India, and to be able to call another country my home. Ok, so obviously this time in India was more than I expected.

Before I sign off, I have to mention one more thing. I did some volunteer work with an organization called Katha. They publish books for adults and children, teach women to cook and sew, they teach rag pickers and street children to read and write, they teach men to become handy men and electricians, they look after little kids while their mothers work as maids in houses nearby, and they give children a fun and educational environment. I was so fortunate to be able to spend some time at their center and meet some of the people benefiting from this organization. They only need $120 a year to give a child a full education with computers. One year’s education can mean so much to a child.



See you soon Canada.

Everyday Life

I realized a few days ago, after talking to my brother, that no one really knows what my daily life in Delhi is like.

I have become a dutiful Indian daughter while here and have learned that saying ‘no’ is not an option. Luckily, my aunt and uncle are pretty easy going which makes my living here much easier.








The morning usually starts pretty early in the day, and I can’t sleep in past 9:30am, even on a Sunday morning. Phone calls start as early as 6am and then the garbage man, ironing lady, maid, car washer, and other sales people don’t hesitate to ring the door bell or announce their arrival. The neighbor’s kids also start crying at around 7:30am, their dreaded bath time.



I often have to get up a half hour early to turn on the water heater and make sure I give myself enough time to take a shower since the shower head is moody. On a good day, I would have a full tank of hot water with decent water pressure, on a bad day the shower would produce slow dripping cold water. By then, I am usually late and don’t have time for breakfast.





I go to the auto rickshaw stand and pay too much to get to work, only because I am in a hurry or because my regular guy knows exactly how to get there, all I need to do is sit down and no words are exchanged.






After teaching, I often order lunch with other co-workers and we eat in the cafeteria at inlingua.







Once I get home, it is tea time. That is the only job I have at home. Then, dinner is between 8-9pm which we eat on a bed, as do many other Indians. We have a huge dining table but meals are, for some reason, always eaten on the bed with newspapers as our placements while we watch Indian soap operas. After making fun of these shows for the past couple of years, I must admit, I have started regularly watching a couple of them. It’s funny how things have changed.

The Best Weekend

Everything has come full circle this past week, enough events and happenings to make me believe that it is time to go home. My first day at inlingua was a goodbye party for an AIESEC trainee and last Friday, my last day, was a goodbye party for me. The heat just about made me crazy when I got here in August. Eight months later, and the problem is back, making anything outdoors difficult to do. My outburst at the Foreign Registration Office was repeated last week when they told me I won’t be allowed to leave the country (we’ll see about that…).

Despite all the difficulties, this week ended on a positive note. Friday, I went out to dinner to one of my favorite restaurants in Delhi with some friends and had an excellent time. We ate a lot, laughed a lot, and I realized that things have been pretty good these past months. All trainees have it difficult, visa issues, housing issues, cultural differences, language and communication problems, but once you are able to get past that, you have more fun than you expected. I am so thankful that I have had some really amazing co-workers and friends and I am going to miss them.


Marc’s hilarious expressions, imitations, and voice intonations. He has an opinion about everything but with some convincing is open to anything.









Amar, the most active, helpful, and passionate instructor at inlingua. He has been so kind to all of us trainees, and all he asks for in return is that we save him a piece of the birthday cake.








Maria, the quietest inlingua trainee. She has probably faced the most challenges in the shortest amount of time (lost in Rishikesh, stolen camera, 30 pages of deleted work AND a stolen wallet in 2 days) but still manages to stay relaxed.







Ozzy from Turkey, a friend of Maria’s, and now a friend of ours.










Ketaki, who helped me out when I was roughing it out in the Pitampura center and who also showed me that young married Indian woman can be progressive, independent, and cool, but don’t call her a Delhiite.








Juan, the crazy Colombian. He always expects a kiss with a hello and he has an insane amount of energy. He’s always ready to go out and reminds all of us that we’re here to have a good time.







The next day I made a day trip to Amritsar, in Punjab with my aunt. It’s something I have wanted to do since I got to India, and even though our trip was only for a day, it was a great time. I have never been to Punjab (unless you count Chandigarh, and even then it’s uncertain whether it’s in Haryana or Punjab) but, my Dad has told me so much about the state, its hospitable people, beauty, and indescribable food.

My uncle arranged for us to be picked up and ‘hosted’ for the day by a co-worker’s family. When I say hosted, I mean HOSTED. We were picked up at the airport, had an authentic family Punjabi breakfast - including more fat than I have in an entire day, we were shown the Golden Temple and other sights, went back to their home and had a huge lunch, then we were taken to the India-Pakistan border with VIP seats, and then driven back to the airport. Imagine some random people coming to visit your city, would you spend the entire day with them, show them around, invite them in your home, for nothing in return? Most people wouldn’t, I probably wouldn’t.

The whole experience was exactly as my father told me he grew up. Huge houses with joint families living together, large delicious meals being prepared by the women while the men discuss business in the garden, and lots of love, warmth, and hospitality. That day, probably for the first time, I felt proud to be Punjabi.

All that aside, Amritsar was a nice city. The Golden Temple was beautiful and I was impressed that even with hundreds of people filling the place, there was still a sense of spirituality which I have noticed is missing in many Hindu temples in India. My favorite part of the city, however, was the Wagah Border, the India-Pakistan Border. We were there for the lowering of the flag and the changing of the guard. I stepped foot in Pakistan, and along with hundreds of people, was involved in a yelling match of Pakistan Zindabad versus India Zindabad. There were patriotic songs being played on both sides of the border gate and then a final showdown of the soldiers. They are all, in reality, friendly towards each other, but for ceremonial purposes they showed a lot of anger and force. It was one of the coolest things I have seen while in India, and a good ending to a great weekend.

Goodbyes

I have seen many people come and go in the past 8 months, co-workers, AIESECers, and lots of students, that I have sort of gotten used to saying goodbye. But, it happens in waves. Every once in a while it will get difficult. I said goodbye to my last batch of students this weekend, said goodbye to most of my co-workers, and goodbye to inlingua today. Too many. It’s all a part of being a ‘nomad’ and it is exactly what I signed up for, but it doesn’t make it easier. Next week’s scheduled goodbyes are with my family, friends and volunteer job.




The plus side of all these goodbyes is that I have people waiting for me at home. A small argument erupted in one of my classes when my students asked me why I was going back. My standard answer is because I have family and friends waiting for me at home. A couple of students didn’t think this was a good enough response, but luckily one student came to my defence, reminding everyone that we all have familial responsibilities – something I have learned in India. I can’t expect everyone to maintain relationships with me if I keep leaving, so at least for the next little while, I have promised that I won’t be going anywhere too far.

Something a co-worker sent me on my last day…

Your stay was short, Shelly dear,
But we hope you'll return another year.

While you were here, in this inlingua of ours,
You've gathered new friends like an armful of flowers.

Return with your bouquet to Canada afar,
We'll remember you here, wherever you are.

The Power of the Maple Leaf

Whenever we go away, my Mom always seems to have a maple leaf pin with her and I have tried to do the same thing the past few years. I have been distributing these little pins to people from around the world and so far I have reached South America, Europe, Africa, and Asia. It’s funny how the Canadian flag can strike up a conversation with almost anyone, anywhere. I have seen them on cars and auto rickshaws in Delhi, spoken with an American girl in France about how she wears one and tells people she is Canadian. I received an e-mail from one of my Spanish roommates from Denmark, 3 years after I gave her a pin, writing about how she was wearing her flag today. A friend, from the Ivory Coast, when given his pin, was reminded of a French Canadian AIESECer he met in Africa and my cousin in India who wore hers to school one day, the same day that one of her classmates wore hers, found out that her classmate also had a cousin in Canada. It’s like a Canadian six degrees of separation.



The past couple of weeks have been busy with work. I am teaching everyday, all day because there has been a threat that the school will be closed down. The municipal government has gone on a rampage destroying buildings in all parts of the city that are ‘illegal’, which basically means every other building, commercial and residential. The market where I work has been under a watchful eye and slightly destroyed as a warning, but this is just the beginning. Today, the decision was made to let us stay in the building until June, but after that the entire market will be gone. Through all of this I have had a heavier workload in order to complete all classes before the April deadline, but as always I have met many interesting students. Iraq and Libya have been added to the list of countries that I have learned about while in India…who would’ve thought that I would have students from such varied backgrounds.

Only a couple of weeks before I leave, and I am trying to savor every moment. Things that are making me happy now: long inlingua lunches, the smell of summer, bumping into past students, the OC playing in India, hearing from others that my students enjoy my classes, waking up early without an alarm clock, not worrying about money, finding restaurants that have authentic non-Indian food, 2 day weekends…the little things.

Holi Hai!

Sunshine after a week of rain. Water balloons being thrown from rooftops. Mud. Bhang. Eggs. Rang Barse playing in the background. Holi SMSs. Paying way too much for an auto rickshaw. Dozens of AIESECers dancing to Daler Mehndi. Color Everywhere. Happy Holi!

Holidays, Weddings, and Exhaustion

I have been away for awhile on a well deserved holiday, but the inevitable feeling after a typical holiday is complete exhaustion. Get ready, it’s a long update.

I started by flying to Chennai & meeting my parents at the airport. After some catching up we flew to beautiful Kerala and our first stop was Trivandrum. We stayed at a heritage resort which isn’t my ideal accommodation while on vacation (no A/C, no TV, and no swimming pool) but it worked out well since it gave us a great glimpse of the laid back Keralan culture. While in Trivandrum we were able to enjoy a great flute concert, visit Kanyakumari (the southernmost tip of India) and of course enjoy the beaches & Ayurvedic massages.

From there we moved on to Madurai, in Tamil Nadu. Madurai is known for its HUGE Meenakshi temple. After a day we drove to Periyar, back in Kerala. Periyar is basically a wildlife sanctuary in the mountains. It was a really beautiful city, albeit filled with annoying honeymooners. We went on a cruise to see the wildlife from afar, and even though you can see elephants on Indian streets on any given day, seeing them in their natural habitat was nothing short of amazing. Much to my Mom’s excitement, we also went on a tour of a spice & coffee plantation. If you’re interested in cooking, the plantations are pretty cool, but then again I enjoy Martha Stewart.

After a nauseating drive through the rolling mountains, we arrived in Kumarakom for a backwater cruise. Kerala is known for its beautiful calm canals extending through its palm tree forests. The palm trees are less for esthetic and more for practical purposes, providing an abundance of bananas and coconuts, leaving no one hungry. A few hours later we arrived in Cochin, my favorite city of the week. It probably had something to do with the 2 room suite we were staying in, fully equipped with a flat screen TV, balcony, and the best shower of my LIFE. Cochin was also interesting because it has a Dutch & Jewish history. It is also where we saw the famous Chinese fishing nets and a Kathakali performance. Our last night in Cochin was spent dreading the next morning. Kerala is the complete opposite of Delhi. It’s relaxed, clean, the people are educated, there is no crime, and it has the highest literacy rate in India. It didn’t feel like we were in India. Since I was a child, I have always associated India with hot spicy food, pollution, and over population, so this trip was not only relaxing, but gave me a new outlook on India.

Since we returned from the South, it has been a wedding marathon. A distant cousin from California got married last week with true pomp & circumstance. Every night there was a lavish event at a different 5 star hotel; again, proving there is way too much money in India. This was no small affair either. One night there were 600 hundred people and large screen TVs throughout the wedding hall to show what was going on inside and outside. On the 3rd night of the week I had to sit down and relax for a moment, there were just too many people, too many relatives trying to explain how they were related to me. My feet were killing me and I was starving so I found an empty seat and asked a waiter for some food. AND that’s when my camera got stolen. The camera was in my lap, but I was uncomfortable and tired, and it all happened so quickly that I didn’t even notice when it happened. It must have been planned because I had the camera with me the whole time. After an announcement, the news spread quickly, but I never found it. Among 600 hundred people, there was no way of tracking it. My night was ruined, pissed off that someone had taken something that I worked so hard to pay for and worst of all, all the vacation photos from Kerala and Tamil Nadu were gone. When something is stolen from you, you feel so violated, especially when someone could be looking through hundreds of your personal photos. I had to get over it quickly, with so much family around and the wedding bonanza continuing, I had no choice but to forget about it.

The rest of the week was spent with my parents, shuttling back and forth from South Delhi to North Delhi (where the rest of my family lives). I have become so comfortable in my clean cocoon that I forget how the rest of the city lives. But, it was nice to spend some time with my parents and show them ‘my’ Delhi, fresh orange juice from the juice stands, riding the metro everyday, dealing with the life threatening yet amusing traffic, and the daily haggling. It’s become so normal to me, and shockingly it’s so foreign to them. Then all of a sudden, another wedding was upon us. This time it was my cousin, engaged & married within a week so that my parents could be there. Her wedding day was also the day my parents were leaving, so it was more than the usual hectic departure day, but again, nice to catch up with family that I wouldn’t normally see.

A day later and it’s all over. All the out of town family has left, the house is completely empty, and even if I am tired and sick, I am still bored. I am quite ok being on my own, especially after these past 7 months in India, but I guess this feeling is unavoidable after 3 weeks of non-stop family. Having my parents here also reminded me that going home won’t be so bad.